I'm really much too young to matriculate

Okay. I'm 38. I'm married. I'm a parent. I'm a homeowner. I have a full time job that doesn't involve my children. I get it. Not your typical college student. Well, these days, I guess I kind of am since EVERYONE and their grandmother seems to be heading back to class. But, I feel young. I feel like I'm in my early to mid 20's. I feel like I could even head back to high school. High school would be preferable to statistics.

Statistics...it sucks hard. It's frying my brain. Every moment I spend with these stupid little symbols and sample standard variances and unions and intersections make me age another 6 months. I should be 925 years old by the end of the semester. Oh good. Then I can fulfill that lifelong dream of marrying Yoda. Stupid Star Wars Wii game that my son has been playing relentlessly for 2 straight days.

Who came up with this crap? Was adding and subtracting and multiplying not enough for them? Was someone sitting around truly bored one day and decided...lemme come up with some new and horrifying ways to torment people. Hell...I could have come up with better and more rewarding ways to torture people than this. So...my brain dies a slow and painful death because some jerkoff decided that basic math wasn't enough to explain the world. Ooooo. Do you think this guy died happy? He couldn't have had a very satifying sex life because hell, I would have at least been doing that instead of inventing new math. I think falling from a moving truck and getting my arm snagged in the window of a passing car and dragging me 15 blocks before running over my torso and then being eaten alive by a pack of wolves would have made for a much more interesting death than being made to absorb this crap until my brain protests and shuts down.

Suck it, suck it, suck it you stupid statistics creating asshole! I hope you rot in hell!