Happy Happy Birthday...

Today would have been my dad's 68th birthday. He's been gone for a little over 5 months.

My dad was a great man. Of course he had his faults. Absolutely wasn't perfect. Who is? But he was a perfect dad to me. He gave of himself to anyone that needed him. This man worked 3 jobs to take care of our family. He raised money for various causes. He gave money to family and friends that needed it. In fact, in my opinion my dad was taken advantage of by the very family and friends that he helped. But he was too good a person to say anything.


He lent quite a bit of money to at least 2 brothers that I am aware of. Apparently they don't get that borrowing means paying back at some point. These family members never even attempted to pay him back. His whole family have always looked upon us as not needing the money...like we were rich. Where the fuck were they when he worked 3 jobs to pay bills? Where the fuck were they when our family had to cut back on our budget? You know, my parents borrowed money and PAID IT BACK!!!! My dad gave cars (used, but hey they were free to the people he gave them to), and bought items for some members to sell in their business. Did my dad expect to be repaid? No. He was doing all of it out of the kindness of his heart...even when it caused struggles at home...financially and otherwise.


Today, on my dad's birthday I've discovered how little his family regards my dad and once again discovered that my mother and I will never be considered a part of their family. First, the person that has power of attorney over my uncle made sure that HIS children receive things from my uncle...including a house (A HOUSE THAT I FUCKING LIVED IN AND HAD AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO) and a vehicle. Now sure...my cousin is assuming a note and at some point $90,000 will be exchanged...$45k will pay off the note. That means that there will be another $45k. Who the hell will be getting that? I guaranfuckingtee that not a penny will come my way. They have divided up all of my uncles possessions and what little money he has without considering that my dad's part should come to my mother and me...or if they hate my mother so much....just me as I am a blood member of this family. Oh...and guess what! They are dividing my uncle's belongings up and he's not even dead. He's in a home. Not one of them visits. Seriously, he'd be better off if one of them just shot him in the head and got it over with.

Same people told my mom that they wanted the shotgun my dad had only days after he died...and they hadn't so much as spoken to my mother or me to express condolences.


Am I angry? Yes. I'm angry and extraordinarily hurt that my FAMILY doesn't consider me part of their family and are so eager to assume my dad's portion of ANYTHING. My dad did more for my uncle that any of these other people did.


I am embarrassed. I am hurt. And I am pissed.


They have taken antique picture frames that belonged to my grandparents and SOLD THEM! They are taking china cabinets and other nice things that mean nothing to them. They are just going to sell them or give them to their kids that won't appreciate them and will destroy them.


I keep typing like I'm actually going to be able to express what I'm feeling and it just isn't going to be sufficiently expressed.


Dad, I love you. I miss you. I know that you are pissed right now about what they are doing...both to your little brother and to your wife and daughter. I had hoped that your family could honor your memory by coming together to take care of family. But they are still only taking care of themselves. This is not at all what your life was about.